After
by merdarkandtwisty
Summary: Their relationship could be cut into two parts, The before and the after. this is the after. Spencer Reid tries to pick up the pieces of SSA Aaron Hotchner. Pre-Slash. Part one of an Alphabet series.


I don't own Criminal minds.

Alphabet series

A is for after

Spencer Reid could cleanly cut his and Aaron Hotchner's relationship into before and after. Before they were colleagues who were friendly. They had each other's backs and they knew they could count on each other. They were a family of a sort but close not so much.

After was a different story. After was a mess, it was tears and anger it was sleepless nights and long talks it was cuddling Jack and forcing Aaron to eat it was trying to get a little boy and a grown man glued back together piece by piece.

After Haley died no one thought it would be Spencer Reid who glued the Unit Chief back together. That held the team together, who watched with worried eyes as Aaron spiraled into a dark place. Closeness grew and trust was enforced. Hotch learned he wasn't alone. That he had others in his corner and he was floored that it had taken Spencer Reid to show him that.

After it all started after

Spencer let himself into The Hotchner residence. bags of take out in his hand, he nodded to Jessica Brooks who was watching a cartoon with Jack on the couch. Passing her a bag of food and earning a smile from the pale woman, he walked towards the bedroom. He pushed the door open and flipped a light on. he saw the older man laying in bed but he knew he wasn't asleep. No he knew he was staring up at that ceiling replaying the death of Foyet of Haley of it all it was only two days ago that his world had came crumbling down and it took everything in Spencer to not reach out and grab him. hold him close and tell him he'd make it through.

Instead he sat the food on the beside table looking down at his boss. "Aaron you have to eat."

The older man's name falling from his lips felt so foreign so wrong but Hotch felt to stiff and formal in a setting like this. In the intimacy of the other man's home.

"Go away." Aaron mumbled still staring up at the ceiling not even looking at Spencer.

"No you need to eat."

"Don't want to."

Spencer sighed he wanted to let his hands drop to his hands and just sit there in the silence of the room. He wanted to stop this fight. He wanted to let Hotch, Aaron do whatever he wanted after all the man had just lost the love of his life. The mother of his child. He couldn't though. Somehow some way he'd taken on the mantle of putting this man back together. For himself for Jack. He couldn't let this man fall in on himself. Jack had already lost one parent he couldn't lose both. One to death on to grief. Spencer knew what it was like to not have a parent he could count on. He would do everything in his power to make sure another child didn't experience the same thing.

Spencer grabbed the bag shutting the bedroom door he sat down. "I wish I could leave you in here I wish I could let you drown yourself in tears sleep and anything else you want to drown yourself in." he sat on the bed. His hand on the other man's arm. "I wish I could but I can't, you see, you have a little boy out there who just lost his mother, I know you're hurting but he needs you. So you need to pull yourself together. You need to eat you need to be there for him. Because Aaron he can't lose you too."

"He won't lose me and right now he has Jess he'll be fine."

"Yes he has Jess, Jess who also just lost her sister. And Jess is great but he needs his father, he needs to see that even though he lost his mother he still has one parent to lean on. So you're going to eat this food." He shook the bag. "And then you're going to go out there. You're going to tell Jess she can go home. Or she can stay in the guest room. "You're going to take Jack in his room. You're going to get him ready for bed. You're going to read him a story and kiss him good night tucking him and telling him it will be okay." Spencer sighed. "I'll be here when he's asleep I'll be sitting on the couch and if you want to get drunk. Or cry or talk well I'll be here. I'll be here if Jack needs something in the night. I'll be here to make sure you're all okay. First you need to think of your son though."

Aaron finally turned and looked at him. giving a shuddering sigh he sat up and grabbed the bag taking the food out he ate it in silence. Not looking at Spencer but Spencer took it as a win and didn't push.

He got off the bed and he silently slipped out of the room. He gathered the trash from Jess and Jack's meal throwing it out. He turned when he heard Aaron come down the hall.

"Daddy." Jack squealed jumping off the couch and running to his father. Spencer saw the pain flash in Aaron's eyes as he hesitated ever so slightly before bending down and picked up his son.

"Hey Jacker's." he kissed the little boys forehead. "How about I get you ready for bed and read you a story." The little boy nodded his head laying heavy against Aaron's shoulder. "Jess you're welcome to stay if you want."

Jessica Brooks watched the interplay with sad eyes. "No I think I'll head home. I'll be back tomorrow to help with the funeral arrangements." She gathered her coat and purse. "I'm only a phone call away." She brushed her hand over Jack's hair kissing his forehead.

"Thanks Jess." Aaron whispered settling his son more firmly in his embrace. "For everything." Jessica just gave him a sad smile. "I better get this one to bed." Aaron shifted from foot to foot. Jessica nodded and the two remaining adults watched him walk down to his son's room. When they were alone Jessica turned to Spencer.

"Thanks Dr. Reid. For being here for the food," Jess hastily brushed a stay tear from her cheek. "For getting him to come out of the room. That was the first smile I've seen from Jack since, since everything happened." Jessica let a few more tears spill from her eyes and Spencer grabbed her and hugged her close.

"You can call me Spencer and don't worry I've got them. you rest." He whispered into her soft blond hair. He held her for a second trying to take the pain from her. she let him hold her. let some of the tension fear and tears leave her body. Finally she pulled away.

"You're a good man Spencer, thank you again." she looked back at the bedrooms one more time before she finally made her way to the door leaving the apartment. Spencer made sure to lock up behind her and set the alarm. Then he grabbed the bourbon and two glasses and settled down on the couch. Shutting all but the table laps off.

In Jacks room Aaron Hotchner helped his son into his Captain America PJ's He helped him brush his teeth and he tucked him into bed. He read him the promised story and he watched him drift off to sleep and he held him close before slowly extracting himself from the sleep boy. He turned off all but the nightlight and crept down the hall a part of him surprised to see Spencer still there.

"I told you I'd be here." Spencer whispered nodding towards the glass. And Aaron new he was right because Spencer always did what he said he was going to do and so he settled in next to the younger man picking up the glass and letting it rest in his hand.

"I should be pissed at you, coming in here and acting the way you did, demanding the things you did of me." He sighed and slumped against the back of the couch. The glass held loosely in his hand His eyes slammed shut fighting the demons. "I should be pissed but I can't because you're right. But then you're always right." Aaron gave a bitter laugh and Spencer tried not to wince.

Aaron opened his eyes and looked at the genius. "I never thought it would be you sitting here kicking my ass into gear. Dave sure. Morgan maybe. Garcia or JJ Possibly. Prentiss oh hell yes but you. No I never saw this." He sighed again shook his head and downed his drink. Letting his eyes flutter shut.

Spencer reached over and grabbed the glass before it fell to the floor sitting it down on the table he finished his own drink and took the glasses to the kitchen. That night he found himself staying awake, watching the man on the couch. Listening for sound from a little boy. This was the after, this is what they were now. Disaster had tried to break the man and child but Spencer wouldn't let it.


End file.
